Lost: Friendships
It’s Sunday morning, I finally cleaned out my stuff in the storage/garage in my pj’s - a very long over due job might I say. =) haha.. I’m such a lazy ass! Just going through a few boxes that I kept there over the years. Each box full of things I couldn’t recall I had put it there. Even now, after years of not thinking of them, there were childhood things that I couldn’t bear to throw away. Some hold special memories, while some I just can’t let go for some odd reason- maybe it’s a girly thing to do… =) Another box I came across was one that holds old photos, old b-day card, yearbooks, school notes and old pen-pal letters from junior high.. Hmmm.. I wonder if it’s still possible to reach them again after all these years. Nah it’s just a thought, just hope that things are going well for them.
Then I came across a letter that I’ve saved and folded neatly in the senior yearbook. It was a letter from a close friend that I’ve known since elementary school, someone I look up dearly like an older sister. Funny thing is that every year I think of her on B-day, since it was during the Thanksgiving holidays. It was a letter she wrote to me in class- that’s what we do when we were bore in class. I re-read this letter that reminded me of things I had forgotten about this person. She had written to me w/ words that were heartfelt and meaningful.….well…… back then at least, since that friendship is currently non-existent. I sat there fighting every urge to fold it up and mail it to her as a reminder of the past. But then I wondered why would I do that, for the benefit of either of us???? Maybe all this time I felt such pain for this friendship is b/c somehow I miss that friendship- especially now- b/c I finally realize that friendships are hard to come by! =) Lay was right we don’t get to choose our family, but we get to choose our friends.
The Strange thing is that we tend to forget what we have: old things, thoughts and feelings. I’ve said about this friendship is that I’m done: my heart is close to the idea. Reading those words she wrote as my friend almost 10 years ago, could they possibly still be good? –or- am I really somehow trying to truly believe that it has fallen down as if it was never there. As for now, I neatly put away these thoughts. My heart doesn’t know what to do with these lost forgotten thoughts, so they have to rest until it does. Meanwhile, it’s almost 2pm, I better hurry and finish and go grab some breakfast or lunch- whateva you call it.
*_~ Have a great weekend ya!
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