JUST DO IT ! LIVE MY OWN LIFE for once!
I finally took some time to stroll through imagestation.com and added my pics for 2005.- late last night , or should I say, early this morning...had one of those awful dreams that wake you up, and you don't want to go back to sleep for fear of going right back to the same subconscious point! Don’t you just hate that! Beside that - It's too early to be up! So I decided to hit the gym since it opens 24-7, I have'nt been going for the past month. =( I know.. shame on me huh?
Have you ever felt restless, and like there was nobody you know who would understand it? =( Okay, so lately I've felt pretty SHITTY! . I had a bad week and I don’t even know where to start. Writing this is just painful. Because usually I'm always pleased when I write something that compels someone to de-lurk and post a comment. My writing has become some what lifeless, and my mood is somewhat on the dark side of "f*** off." I've been feeling a bit pissy lately. I've been snapping at my family a little bit, because I’m just so f**** tired of everything I do for them. Especially this past two year, the fact that I’m not even apprectiated for the things I do for the family-which I love dearly to my heart. But I’m so f**** tired that my family expect me to do things because I’ve been doing it since my folks were divorce which is about 12 years. All I want to do now is get the f*** out of here soon and LIVE MY OWN LIFE for once!
Anyho, the job search is not going well at all. Cover letters are particularly trying, but I feel that I'm a pretty good writer, so that part isn't so bad. The endless pages of the boring applications are what really get to me. I went to a few interviews and gotten hired for 2 different positions, but decided not to take it. But I need a job now, I’m tired of staying running errands for everyone or babysitting. Once I get the job I like, I’m gonna try to work harder and stay out more so I can avoid being home. (Don’t judge me unless you’ve been in my shoe! Even if you do, I don’t give a shit!)
Gosh, I’m so f**** lazy! I think, I’m princess of all procrastinators! So I finally make a list of all the things - I have to do and achieve within this two years! I don't know if I'm ready for it. BUT I promise myself that I will accomplish every task without giving myself any excuses! you know -I should- JUST DO IT! I really need to quit my bitching and go to sleep now! Nite nite ya!
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