Random thoughts !

AJA AJA FIGHTING !

Listening to: Lim Jung Hee - Geh Deh Ji Geum




AJA AJA FIGHTING! =P I think something was wrong with me. Hahah.. =) I’m getting so used to using that phrase after watching ‘Full House’. It’s embarrassing how much I was into it. I love watching cute dramas! I have never watched a Korean drama (w/English) before in my life. This drama will make you cry and laugh. I know the plot dragged a lot toward the end, but I didn’t mind it a bit.

Even though there was a whole lot of screaming and fighting between the two main characters. The chemistry between them, made it so wonderful and hypnotizing to watch. They made the cutest couple! =) I can’t help smiling whenever they sing the three bear song. It’s so sweet! Yet, it brings me tears when I see Han Ji Eun being hurt over and over. Love hurts regardless. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back. Don’t expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if doesn’t, be content that it grew in yours.



Han Ji Eun might be a bit naïve and simple at times, yet it reminded me to be happy and cheerful, which I haven’t been for a long time. =( Maybe life has a toll on people. It would be so wonderful if life was always cheerful and happy, but then again things never happen the way- even though we wanted it to be. Lately, I was debating on whether to learn to speak Japanese or Korean. But I think Korean is the way to go, since I love their movie/music. I’m giving myself 2 years to learn it.. Wish me luck ya! Anyho, I better go to sleep before I keep ranting on and ranting. Good nite ya.

Aja Aja! Fightning!! *_~ haha..



P.S. I read this somewhere once, what do you think?

"Happiness teaches one nothing. Misery, on the other hand, steels one for the future. Misery is a school for the soul. From the waters of misery one emerges at the far bank purified, strong, ready to take up again the challenges of life."

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 12:36 AM 0 comments

=) I'm cited about it!! Can't wait to party! yay!

Any normal person would be excited about his/her birthday coming. But as you know, I'm no normal person. You see, there is one thing I dread most about this dark day is getting older. I don't have any more birthdays to look forward to. 21 was the last good one. Beside I'm not much of a birthday girl anyways! Usually I just don't know if, how and where I'm gonna celebrate it. I try to avoid it since I didn’t think it was all that special. But this year birthday, we are going to Vegas and I can’t WAIT! It’s been a very long time that I’ve been excited about anything! But as always I shouldn’t keep my hopes up, just in case I won’t have that much fun.

Hmmm.. Jane asked what I wanted for my B-day. If you know me by now, I rather get a B-day card than something that is not useful at all.. (Like Candles, Clothes and Lotion sets.) I rather someone buys me a drink or brings me out for dinner, if not a gift card-simple as that. Maybe I’m being a little picky, but that’s me. Actually I don’t think I’m not as bad as my other friends. I don’t ask for anything that is expensive, b/c I don’t wanna feel like I owe them something-when I can go buy it myself.


Anyho, everything is set for Vegas! The hotel, car rentals, Lily/Alicia’s airfare is book and reservations are all! I’m cited about it!! Can’t wait to party! yay! Just not tonite, still debating whether to go to 'Sixes' – I’m so freaking afraid I might get a hangover.. Then again, it’s Jane’s B-day.. If she decided to go Suite 181 then I will definitely leave early and meet up with them. Or I’ll just stay home and rest, since I’m still coughing a little bit. =(

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 12:05 PM 0 comments

I hate doing this to myself every freaking time!

Ouch. Hangover. My head hurts. =(

Oh man does my head hurt right now, i think i am still drunk lol. I've got the worst hangover ever. I'm crawling to the bathroom again It hurts so bad that I'm never gonna drink again. I would have never thought I'd be this miserable again! I hate doing this to myself every freaking time! My head is pounding like crazy... =(

Last nite was ok. Went to a 70’s house party, but left after an hour b/c it was boring. So we decided to go clubbing last minute. The dance floor was completely packed. I couldn’t remember how much I drank, probably the usually 4 w/out adding beer and the two full cups of Sangria that I had before clubbing. I didn’t have that much fun though, I guess I was holding back a little which sucks.. it’s always fun when I just let go.

I was so buzz and bore when I gotten home. =( Called a friend from out of the blues, talk for a little bit b/c he had to work at 9am in the morning. After that, went online and emailed a few friends which I totally regret so bad because I don’t know what the hell I’ve typed or have the ability to type- knowing myself- I’m one of those chick that's freaking honestly when I’m buzz/drunk.. which I hate so much! Funny part is that, I don’t even know who I’ve emailed? =( Hopefully not Steve – since Linda mentioned last nite that she meet a guy named Steve also. God, I’m so hungry right now.. but I don’t think I’ll be able to eat till tonite since I can still the feel alcohol within.

Oh well, I better go back to bed.

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 12:03 PM 0 comments

Everything does happen for a reason.....

Something funny happened to me yesterday. I had the most spiritually enlightening car ride of my life. Well, I was driving home from the San Francisco, there was a lot of traffic so you know it took about a hours moreless to get home. And during that long car ride by myself I can’t help but think about everything on my mind. I kept on thinking about my situation and stuff. Well anyways, lately I have been wondering why everything has happen to me, really happened to me? Does everything happen for a reason? Is it twist of fate or luck that affects us or shape our life? Or is it cause and effect? Have you ever wonder that questions yourself?

Nothing just happens for the sake of it. Everything does happen for a reason, but sometimes the reason that it happens does not pertain to us. All of our actions affect everyone in this world in some way. I truly believe that. Life is funny like that. My drive home was a totally miraculous experience. It made me feel so special for some reason.

Oh.. It was just so weird, when I saw was this black guy smiling widely at me, like a prevert! I was all like "eewwww." But then to be nice I just smiled back politely. =) He had really white teeth though. I thought it was weird but then I eventually forgot about it.

---- Still being in traffic--- I thought about God…

God wants me to deal with the problems I never wanted to deal with. I believe that we all get signs from God, but not all of us can decipher them all the time. Usually we are all caught up in life that we tend to forget the things that God is trying to tell us. There are signs everywhere. I know that I need to work on myself first, and not try to help others too quickly. I will let things happen as they happen. I guess I can admit that I spent half my life taking care of the peeps I loved. (which I don’t regret.) Now I know what I am supposed to be doing. I am supposed to be working on me. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm gonna give up caring… I thank God everyday for guiding me the way he does. I just hope that I will always see the signs he gives me. Thats the hardest part about life. Watching out for signs and knowing when they're right in front of your face. Faith and hope are going to be the two most important concepts that I will have to deal with. I just hope they don't let me down. =)

All I can say now is that future is uncertain. but actually that's the way it is supposed to be. No one is supposed to know their future. It's better that way.


Ps. At this very moment, I'm listening to some Korean songs w/ very relaxing beats..
Isn't music amazing! I don't understand a word it's saying, but I can totally feel the vibe..

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 1:45 AM 0 comments

why do you even care so much or bother with it?

A close friend and I are having a very interesting phone conversation right now regarding how people judge other people. Apparently, someone was talking behind one of my friend’s back and she wasn’t way too happy about it. Of Course, no would! But I told her -Stop tripping over it, it’s not worth our time to care over the things that people say, they don’t even know you- so why do you even care so much or bother with it?



The things that I can't or won't say offline I'll say here. This is my outlet to vent about things around me that piss me off. The people who read this blog and say "Oh that Cindy," well you really don't know me at all. How about taking a moment to say hi to me in comments and you'll see that I'll send you a nice, warm, fuzzy welcome.

Don't think that just because you don't agree with me, you can't enjoy my site or *gasp* be my friend. All of my posts aren't liberal bashing. Read through my archives and you'll find that I'm probably like you in some ways. I have the same fears as everyone else, the same hopes, and the same dreams. I'm an actual person, with blood flowing through my veins, with a beating heart that yes sometimes gets hurt by what she been through. I'm human; I have the same flaws as each and every one of you. I'm not perfect, but nobody is for that matter. So before you go judging me by my blog, take a moment to say hi to me either here on the blog I think you'll find that I'm actually a very nice person.

That being said, I'm not going to stop posting my opinions here on this blog because you feel offended by what I write. You don't think that I get offended by some things I read? I sure as hell do. You don't think that I get my feelings hurt by things I know are pointed towards me? Well guess what? I do. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've read something and gone. I'm just opinionated. I'm not going to bite my tongue if I feel that I have something very important to say.

Like all the other million bloggers out there, I need a place for me. This is my place and I'm going to use it how I feel. I want to be able to get things off my chest. I want to be able to share with you the things that make me happy. If I lost every single visitor to this blog this very second, I would still post. Like I said before, this is my outlet. I don't do this to see how many visitors I can get or to see how many people will “blogroll” me. Those things don't mean a thing to me. This is the place where I can sort things over in MY head and MY heart, not where I come to be judged. If you feel like you can't do that, please forget this url. I certainly don't visit blogs where I feel uncomfortable. It's that easy!

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 7:05 AM 0 comments

JUST DO IT ! LIVE MY OWN LIFE for once!

I finally took some time to stroll through imagestation.com and added my pics for 2005.- late last night , or should I say, early this morning...had one of those awful dreams that wake you up, and you don't want to go back to sleep for fear of going right back to the same subconscious point! Don’t you just hate that! Beside that - It's too early to be up! So I decided to hit the gym since it opens 24-7, I have'nt been going for the past month. =( I know.. shame on me huh?

Have you ever felt restless, and like there was nobody you know who would understand it? =( Okay, so lately I've felt pretty SHITTY! . I had a bad week and I don’t even know where to start. Writing this is just painful. Because usually I'm always pleased when I write something that compels someone to de-lurk and post a comment. My writing has become some what lifeless, and my mood is somewhat on the dark side of "f*** off." I've been feeling a bit pissy lately. I've been snapping at my family a little bit, because I’m just so f**** tired of everything I do for them. Especially this past two year, the fact that I’m not even apprectiated for the things I do for the family-which I love dearly to my heart. But I’m so f**** tired that my family expect me to do things because I’ve been doing it since my folks were divorce which is about 12 years. All I want to do now is get the f*** out of here soon and LIVE MY OWN LIFE for once!

Anyho, the job search is not going well at all. Cover letters are particularly trying, but I feel that I'm a pretty good writer, so that part isn't so bad. The endless pages of the boring applications are what really get to me. I went to a few interviews and gotten hired for 2 different positions, but decided not to take it. But I need a job now, I’m tired of staying running errands for everyone or babysitting. Once I get the job I like, I’m gonna try to work harder and stay out more so I can avoid being home. (Don’t judge me unless you’ve been in my shoe! Even if you do, I don’t give a shit!)

Gosh, I’m so f**** lazy! I think, I’m princess of all procrastinators! So I finally make a list of all the things - I have to do and achieve within this two years! I don't know if I'm ready for it. BUT I promise myself that I will accomplish every task without giving myself any excuses! you know -I should- JUST DO IT! I really need to quit my bitching and go to sleep now! Nite nite ya!

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 1:21 AM 0 comments

... Capital Punishment ...

I don’t know how this came about, but we were talking about Abortion and Capital punishment. With abortion, I briefly commented on it. I don’t know what ground I stand on anymore- whether it’s pro or con? Quite frankly, I don’t know anymore- because I never have to face with that tough situation. Thinking back, I felt really bad that I had to force my sister to do the unthinkable.. what the F was I thinking? Yes, maybe I was trying to figure out what’s best for her, but then again what do I know, what is truly best for her!


Anyho, I personally don’t believe in Capital punishment. The whole idea that you would go and kill someone else seem extremely “hypocrital” to me! Like we were told as a little kid that “ two wrong don’t make a right”, it sounded better in Chinese anyways. Many believe that capital punishment is still the effective way to deter violent criminals, b/c it can give comfort to the victims and their families and it won’t waste any of our tax money; which is understandable b/c I used to think this way. But what gives us the right to go an eye for an eye or life for a life. Who made us God and let is choose who lives or who dies? I’m not saying that they don’t deserve a punishment; they did take something so wonderful as life. But I don’t think that capital punishment is right. What if we took the chance of killing someone by lethal injection- whom maybe innocent. Even so, if that person did admitted this crime. Think about that person’s family. So in order to satisfy the victim’s families, we torture another family, people who are no doubt already traumatized w/ guilt and remorse that their child they raised, grew up and take another’s life. Isn’t this convicted family innocent as well?


Ok, after reading what I’ve just say. Remember after all this is what I think, a lot of you probably don’t agree w/ me, which is fine w/ me cause I just wanted you to hear me out not agree w/ me. However, like I say before if might be different if I was in that situation – my opinions might not be the same or it might. I don’t know what I will do.. (This time around, I’m not knocking on wood. I’m pounding on wood and real hard!!!)

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 1:30 PM 0 comments