Random thoughts !

Merry Christmas....

No time for a great long update other than that though.



Every year I have this fear that I have some gift hidden away that I forgot or that I completely forgot to shop for someone. Must be the holiday jitters haha... It’s almost 4am, I finally finish wrapping all the presents- I promise myself I will buy my family better presents next year- after all I should be debt free by then! Unless I buy a new car.. I also cleared out all of my internet files like a good paranoid person should and now I have to send reminders for all of my passwords. ( yes, I need to organized my life for next year!!)

Yay! The Starbucks certificates and shot glass w/ candies was a big hit w/ friends and co-workers.. But I have to admit I was a little blue the past two days. You know how it is.. like when you quit your job, you know you did but later it hits you and then you realize you actually have no job. So, I know that Dave’s (co-worker) is gone, but it actually hit me on Thursday’s nite, when I was passing out the presents that he was really gone. I know we had our differences, but it was just a sadness and emptiness I need to finally accepts.. Gosh, it feels so much better just typing it out!!!!

Anyways!!

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Enjoy spending time with your family and friends, eating, opening presents!!!

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 4:08 AM

why do you even bother asking???

It's less than ten days before Christmas. My shopping has been pretty much done for the last few weeks, w/ the exception of a couple of gift cards. The tree has been up for a week or two w/out any glass ornaments for Tyra’s safety and since Tyra has been taken all the ornaments off the trees, it looked as though the tree has been robbed, =P basically it's a ghetto ass x-mas tree.. haha..


I know I’ve told myself that I won’t let anyone see me cry, but when you just found out someone had just passed away, you just don’t know what to feel except emptiness and shock that things seem ok one day and then the next day. One thing that people do tell me, besides that it's supposed to get easier, is that it helps to celebrate someone's life and not just mourn it. I'd tend to agree. So I had to stop myself from crying at work and keep going regardless..


Honestly, I was a little pissed off yesterday at a friend. I just don’t understand when someone ask you, what do you prefer doing and when you tell them, they turn around saying they rather doing something else.. WTF !!! Why do you even bother asking me what I wanted to do, when you rather do something else?? Seems like you didn’t give a F what I wanted to do?? This is not the first time this happen, just a little tired of it. Geez! I was so ready to go out and drink, I had all the X-mas presents wrapped. It pisses me off whenever someone cancels out on me, especially when I was getting ready to go. If you know you didn’t want to go, why the F did you say you were going????? I could have went w/ my original plan.. (It just kills the mood..) If there was a good reason you can’t make it, then I’m fine it.

Anyways, it just feel better writing this out rather then holding it in..

Darn!! I hope I'll get ova this cold soon...

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 11:14 PM 0 comments

=( what the F** is going on?

Forget about how much people spend on gifts they ought to report on what people spend on household items getting ready for the holidays and getting things to prepare for the holidays- like untangling the lights to assembling the Christmas tree!



Anyhow, I don’t know what is going on with me? I don’t know why I feel this way. I feel overwhelmed, tired, sad, sore… I am extremely overwhelmed here at work and falling behind. I need to organize but can’t seem too. I am tired and have been tired for the past month or more. I need to do something about it but I don’t know what. I am trying to go to sleep a little earlier and I am sleeping well but this doesn’t seem to be enough. I need to get to the gym but again I am lacking the time, energy and motivation.

Have anyone been afraid to go to sleep? I’ve been having the same dream for two nites that someone was stalking me, someone I can’t see. I guess the worst part is the I’m with my family, hopefully I’m going to find out what it meant.. b/c this is stressing the crap out of me.. Well I get going, try to see if I can be awake by 6:30am…

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 2:22 AM 0 comments

Time for a change....

*_~ I really need to get moving and motivated!!!!! I think, in some way, I am in denial of the fact that I need to work on myself… I know I do, but actually do it.. Easy say than done huh? I never have a moment to collect my thoughts, let alone organize them to post. *sigh* Um, let's see though... ( ……. Thinking to myself …. I guess I will make 2006 on improving myself- both internally and externally.. )

Rambling on...

I would love to say that things have been great lately, but then that means that I would be lying, and I won't do that. So, I'll be frank and honest and say that things are getting better and this week my time has been occupied by Christmas shopping. Yes, Mon-Thurs. was all spent shopping before I went to work. I think I’m falling in love w/ the peninsula- like Burlingame and San Mateo, everything seem so peaceful and relaxing when I’m shopping there, seem like I’m in a different world. Man, I been drinking a lot of Starbucks coffee, it’s so good-actually any coffee is good except work coffee.. gross! Speaking of work, things are a bit slow and I been getting off work early! Yay! Paycheck might not be so big w/ the overtime- but hey I need the sleep and shopping. =) I love Christmas more than any other holidays, I love giving people small gift not big ones-since I can’t really afford them. Ok, I admit this week I brought a few things for myself at Forever21, Sephora and Urban Outfitter. There a few things I wanted to buy at the H&M store, but I better wait to I until I can fit it nicely.. Hey, it’s about time that I should spoil myself. Man I forgot how much I used to love that store-Urban Outfitters, nowadays- I prefer the simple chic clothing w/ a little twist. Ok, call me crazy I love the sound of the salvations army bells- it always reminded me of Christmas… Maybe I’ll take another photo w/ Santa- after all I’ve been a good girl all year- maybe a little bitcher but still good.. haha

Oh I better remember to sent out a pile of Christmas cards, hopefully by next year this time I’ll be living downstairs’ so I can host a little white elephant gift exchange- speaking of that.. I need to look around my room to see if I have anything.. haha..

Lastly, it’s Time to make a few lists, so I feel a little bit more in control. Also, as a quick note to myself, time to get an eyebrow wax, probably will help with the whole feeling in control thing as well.

posted by ~~Sin~~ @ 7:06 PM 0 comments