Saturday, May 13, 2006

officially 28 now!

Yep, I’m officially 28 now! It’s funny how my mom reminded me today that I will be turning 28 tonight at midnight; when I asked her where’s my present? She says she gave me life, isn’t that enough... I’ll tell you this wonderful woman can be so…. ….. *_~ ha-ha...

Guess who just slept for six hours straight? Yes and I’m loving it.. I woke up much happier this morning and looked a lot better too. My tiredness always shows under my eyes if I don’t sleep enough- basically =( panda eyes! I can’t believe how fast the year has gone by. I haven’t been in the mood to write here lately or this year. Now that it’s getting closer to summer, I’ve become painfully aware of just how white legs are: VERY.

I’m watching Rachael Ray’s $40 a day for Dallas. Man! She has it made, but I know she worked really hard to get where she is now today. I used to think she was a bit annoying, but now I really really like her perkiness! She has the best job in the world: she gets to travel, her magazine, cookbooks, cooking show and now I think she will host a “cooking” talk show? “I don't think you should have kids just because your clock's ticking.” I totally agree w/ Rachael. Kids are wonderful, I really really adore them as I adore Tyra, but the idea of having a family right this moment scares the crap out of me! Don’t get me wrong, starting a family is great if you are really for it. I guess I’m just not, not now or anytime soon. I still need to figure what I want myself.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I just don't know??

I’ve also realized that I’m probably one of the world's biggest hypocrites.. Honestly, sometimes I really do wonder? What’s wrong with me? if I had anybody here with me, I think I’d ask them to slap some sense into me cuz I can't seem to sort out the things running through my head and I don't think I’m too stable right now.. At times, I wish my life could just be normal, but I also do realize my life seems a bit pathetic sometimes. Who knows? I don't know what to do... I don't know what's right... I don't know what's best... I don't know what to believe... some things I want really badly but I just can't have it yet so I’ll have to wait, but then everything gets misinterpreted... I agree. It hurts. I just don't know.

I know there's a balance to everything in life, but you know what's sad? I can't seem to find that balance with anything. Whether it's people, places, events, thoughts, desires, goals and everything... sometimes, I really just don't get it! Sometimes I know what I have to do, but it's hard to stuff the emotions or thoughts aside, either that or I go to the far extreme. I really just don't know what to do right now. Sometimes the little things seem so important to me and I end up making it a huge deal when it's really not and I haven't figured out how to just deal with it.


Oh well, time for bed.. Work has been great! =) only worked 8.5 hr this pass two days, yes!! gotta love that!